Opinions are just projections

It’s liberating when you realize that people’s opinions of you are almost always projections of how they see themselves.

In other words, when the people close to you malign you and call you names, see it as them telling you exactly how they feel about themselves in that moment.

So the next time someone in your orbit says something positive or negative about you, see it as an inroad to how that person sees himself or herself in that moment.

Attention management

The three things you must learn to manage to be effective, in my opinion, are your mind, time and attention.

In clear terms, you must guard your mind from mediocre thoughts, allocate your time to things that help you reach your goals and give enormous attention to the tasks and people required to reach your goals.

While mind management and time management are easily understood because of the exhaustive resources that have been created to address these phenomena, attention management is an equally interrelated subject that presents an opportunity to become mainstream.

Mental foreplay

If you do a 9 to 5, and are working on a side-hustle after work but almost always lack the brain power to get your own work done after you leave the office, do this.

At your breaks and during commute time to and from work, listen to motivational podcasts.

Provide yourself with the mental foreplay to activate your brain power so that when you get to the place of your side hustle, you can deliver on those tasks that you need to move you from employee to entrepreneur.

Managing change

There are two types of change. The ones we proactively make and the ones we are forced to make.

The difference between the two is almost always ignorance or procrastination.

In the instance of ignorance, continuous learning is vital to reduce your unknown unknowns. But to eliminate procrastination, the fear of the consequences of your continued inaction must come into full view.

Admiration for men

The need to be admired is a primal need every woman in a heterosexual relationship should try to fulfill.

Much like a woman, a man needs to feel admired, only differently. He needs to be admired for his abilities, vision and uniqueness.

If you can’t look at the man you are with, with admiration, or tell him about his superpowers that you admire, leave him alone. You should be with someone you admire.

Be desperate

Be desperate and you’ll accomplish anything. Be desperate for that law degree. Be desperate to be happy.

People almost always think that time stands still. But in truth, the world keeps spinning.

If you are going achieve anything from each moment of your life, then you must find a reason to be desperate.

Body obsession

If you have never been in a relationship in which the connection was not more than skin-deep, there will almost always be a craving to fix your body through workouts, makeup or surgery.

People who become obsessed with fixing their bodies have almost always been prejudged by their looks.

The problem is, social media has worsened this body-obsession such that genuine emotional connections might be threatened going into the future.

Vibes in, vibes out

It’s interesting how so many people in relationships depend on personal similarities or vibes today.

The problem with depending on vibes is, people are mutable. They change.

There just has to be more than vibes. And don’t get me wrong, while the similarities that provide the glue, it’s the differences that provide relational quality.

Friendship is showing up

If your friends can’t rely on you to bail them out of trouble, and vice versa, what’s the need being friends?

Reliability is the hallmark of friendship. It is not enough for people to tell you they like you, or you saying the same. Friendship is an agreement to show up for friends whenever they have a need.

After all, there is a saying that ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed.’