There are two major types of marriages across the world. The third is only worth mentioning.
The first one, predominant and ubiquitous, is the ‘partnership.’ It’s an approach akin to forming a corporation. Each ‘partner’ works in tandem with the other to reach specified or unspecified goals. ‘Partnerships’ have the ring of organization and structure that make them efficient and also dissoluble.
The second types of marriages are unions. The spouses involved aren’t ‘partners’ pursuing common goals but parts of one entity, with one way of knowing and being. Unions are organic by nature and dissoluble only in death. In Biology, this would be two haploid cells coming together to form a diploid cell called a zygote. These types of marriages would better be described as organisms, pulsating, self-protecting and self-correcting.
While the first is goal-oriented—have kids, raise them, buy a home and all of that—the latter is about being, living in constant flux without compromising the integrity of a shared identity. In a sense, spouses think, talk and act, not as equals but as complementary parts of each other.
The third types of marriages, for the sake of mention, are co-dependencies. They are toxic, unhealthy relationships that weaken one spouse at the expense of the other. And this could be the subject of another blog in the future but like I said, it’s just a mention.
Germane to this piece would be choosing to leave an organization-mindset behind to embrace an organism-mindset of marriage, if you aren’t there yet.
Quick questions. What type of marriage are you in, if you are married? Or, what type of marriage would you like to have?